perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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