After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
