Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How external is "for external use only"?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
