so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
