If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
