I'd wear matching sweaters with you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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