have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
