They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
