She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
