Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
