I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
