I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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