Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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