Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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