Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he just fucked me for my cheese.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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