the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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