I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
