You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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