i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
