You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
