its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
