I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
