Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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