Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
