So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Mom said you looked used
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
