Your face is a jimmy john
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
