Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
