i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
