yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
