You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
