She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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