fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
