we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You need Xanax blowdarts
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
