shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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