I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
