She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
