1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
