There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
