; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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