It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
