So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
