Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
