i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
