i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
