Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
