# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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