She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
