I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
