Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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