What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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